When Will This End?
Wednesday, August 5, 2026 · 11:41 AM
Lyrics
An upper level low stagnates over the eastern state! Trapped along the Plateau, locked in atmospheric decay! Weak lapse rates suffocate the updrafts in the sky! No severe threat, but under this humidity I DIE! Sunset approaches! The diurnal convection bleeds out! Radiation fog forms overnight in the footprints of downpours! WE ARE IN THE BRIDGE ZONE! BETWEEN THE BERMUDA HIGH AND THE WESTERN RIDGE! HEAT INDEX ONE HUNDRED TO ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE! HEAT RISK LEVEL THREE! HOW AM I STILL ALIVE? IT IS HOT AS HELL! IT IS HOT AS HELL! The upper low weakens by the weekend, swept into the void! Thirty to sixty percent chance on the Plateau destroyed! Pop-up afternoon storms, relentless tropical air! Gusty winds and heavy downpours born of pure despair! Temperatures one to two degrees above the seasonal mean! The most oppressive August forecast I have ever seen! WEAK LAPSE RATES! WEAK LAPSE RATES! NO SEVERE CONVECTION TO SAVE ME FROM THIS HEAT! JUST ISOLATED CELL COLLAPSE AND TOTAL DEFEAT! DEWPOINTS CONSTANT! THE SKY IS CLOSING IN! ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE DEGREES OF UNPARDONABLE SIN! WE ARE IN THE BRIDGE ZONE! BETWEEN THE BERMUDA HIGH AND THE WESTERN RIDGE! HEAT INDEX ONE HUNDRED TO ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE! HEAT RISK LEVEL THREE! HOW AM I STILL ALIVE? IT IS HOT AS HELL! IT IS HOT AS HELL! Typical August weather... Unremarkable pattern... IT IS GONNA BE HOT AS HELL! AREAS OF OVERNIGHT FOG! HOT AS HELL!
The forecast discussion
The key messages tell it all with an unremarkable forecast for typical August weather.
An upper level low that has been set up for several days over the eastern part of the state will keep scattered showers and isolated storms going today and again Thursday, especially along and near the Plateau.
No severe storms are expected with weak lapse rates.
Most activity will die off with sunset.
Areas of fog will form overnight, especially for locations that receive rain.
Otherwise, temperatures will be near normal.
THE LONG TERM
The upper low will weaken and get swept away by the weekend.
We will then be within a bridge zone between a strong Bermuda high and a strong, hot western ridge.
This will keep our temperatures seasonably warm - maybe a degree or 2 above normal.
This pattern will also keep conditions humid with pop-up showers and storms each afternoon.
For the most part, chances/coverage will continue to be highest (30 to 60 percent) for the Plateau and generally low for areas west of the Plateau.
No severe storms are expected, but gusty winds and heavy downpours will occur with some storms.
Heat risk levels will be in the 2-3 range (out of 4) with peak heat index values pushing mostly into the 100-105 range.
It's gonna be hot... as.... HELL!!!!!